Learning to live life fully

The life that is you

2008-05-12T17:33:00.000+08:00

You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be miserable.
Which would you rather be?
You can choose to make productive and purposeful use of the moments in this day.
Or you can choose to let the time slip away and be left with nothing but regret.
Life is what you decide you are going to make of it.
What have you decided to make of the possibility-filled moment that is right now?
You can complain that it's all so very unfair, but all that will accomplish is to bring you down even more.
Or, you can fully accept life as it is and then experience the genuine satisfaction of making your way forward in spite of the obstacles.
You can choose to hide behind excuses or you can open yourself up to the richness of life.
You can decide to make the most of whatever comes your way, and know how great it feels to be fully alive and engaged in your world.
No matter what has come before, life in this moment is what you decide to make it.
Consider all the possibilities, and then choose the life that is you.

-- Ralph Marston

In love with life

2008-03-11T10:49:00.001+08:00

Fall in love again each moment with life.
Breathe in the rich, new wondrous possibilities that are continually being born.
Realize what a grand opportunity exists in even the smallest of matters.
Today is a day like no other, and you are magnificently blessed to be a part of all that it encompasses.
The wind blows, the sun shines, night falls, and some days bring brutal cold while others offer stifling heat.
There is beauty, there is tragedy, and there is exquisite fulfillment along with bitter disappointment.
On the surface, life is filled with much adventure, activity, change, confusion, excitement, joy and frustration.
Underlying it all you'll find abiding peace and goodness that can never be denied.
You have the unique, unmatched good fortune of being you, right here and right now.
Take a brief moment to realize and remember who you truly are.
Then look out at the vast expanse of possibilities that surrounds you.
And dive lovingly into it in your own special way.

-- Ralph Marston

Do you believe in God

2008-01-22T00:48:00.000+08:00

I'm still in search of my religion.
But I do believe in God.
A friend - Chris helped pray for me & Twain in a prayers group which he always have at his place every Mon in KL.
Janet from the prayer group saw Mother Mary's presence beside me and a bright rosary in my session.
Francis saw this red light in the sky and came the rain for Twain's session.
I seriously do not know what these vision means or what are the story behind but one thing is for sure, I feel calm, and feel lighter with some baggage gone, I finally have the peace of heart and mind after a while.

I have never seen God.
But I do believe in HIS presence and miracles.
Just like the way I'm feeling now - serene is the word.

Home

2008-01-20T11:34:00.000+08:00

I noticed it is here that a little bird has chose to built her home.

A nice home hanging on the tree in the garden of our home where she feels safe and protected.

A simple home with a window and a door way.

A simple life that make us human envious...

Hair Cut

2008-01-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

Not planned.
Not intended to.
Met up with friends at their friend's place who is a hair stylist.
So, hair is short now because I happened to meet the right man, at the right place at the right time…

A little faith & determination

2007-12-28T17:16:00.000+08:00

Had asked Twain to rate year 2007 on the scale from 1 - 10 and guess what, he rated this year a 7!

I was surprise. Totally out of my expectation as I was so sure that the best he could do is to give it a 6 for this year or the worst 5 but here he is giving it a 7 for a year that is actually unpredictable, volatile and tough for his business.
I felt pleased, that although things and business is so tough on him and there are just so many things going on at the same time now but he is still feeling optimistic and still think that all these are only for the better. He thinks he can sail thru the rough sea.

FAITH and DETERMINATION makes a lot of difference...

The 3 of us will pull through, I know!

With God's will, hope everything we went thru prove to be worthy one day down the road.

(*Renee holding tight to mommy's hands)

Life before 2008

2007-12-28T01:08:00.000+08:00

If I were being asked to rank 2007 in 1 out of 10, it will be 7.
I would not rank this a fantastically great year, it is a reasonable good year. I guess it all depend on which area we are looking at, I think.

Life is certainly not a bed of roses where I am now. Life has been crazy lately. I feel like I am rushing with time everyday. Like I need extra 12 hours a day. Work has been crazy and hectic, traffic is madness, bills keep coming in, car service is up again...the list can goes on for hours. Trying to juggle everything at one go isn't easy. Having to deal with work, life, motherhood and all the other stuffs at one go needs better stamina then where my stamina level is now.

Having Renee is definitely the most rewarding thing for me this year. My 2 best moment in a day now is the time I see her at the sitter's place and my sleeping time. It is like she makes the world stops every min I spend with her. All worries fade away. It is strange how looking into her eyes and her little smiley lips just make my lips go wide open too. She is definitely a magician.

Twain have some business issue to solve himself. Fuel charges went sky high overnight few months back and that has definitely make business a lot harder now. Still trying to do damage control and keeping business transactions in place is the after effect from the unforeseen price change in fuel. He must be exhausted too. He might rank this year only a 5 for him. I will find out.

This definitely is not an easy year end for the household financially. But this is life right? Like it or not, life goes on. However, I would prefer to think of this that we are going thru now as a challenge. I believe God will never give a test to a person unless HE knows they can take up that challenge. Plus one never know what is in front of us, can we? We might be looking at a poor ugly looking dry desert now, but who knows if a nice beautiful waterfall mountain is just another 10km in front awaits us.

One thing for sure, we still feel blessed definitely, the fact that we still have all the important people and things in life at this slightly tougher time: Renee, families, friends... and that God has sent 2 angels all the way here to cheer us up so much during this season.

Farewell 2007; Welcome 2008!!
Celebrate Life as Life is too precious to give up at any point.

Christmas 2007

2007-12-28T00:05:00.000+08:00

We spent Christmas eve having steam boat dinner and I am telling you dinner was nice and yummy. It was the right kind of food for the eve I think.
I can see that both Sue and Blair enjoyed the dinner too. Twain definitely enjoyed it.

We went grocery shopping at Tesco because we are having the Christmas lunch the Sue way. It was still quite crowded at Tesco. I guess there must be a lot of last min shopping. Sue & Blair are totally amazed at how everyone is still so awake and out here doing all sort of activities like it was during the day time at 11:30pm. From where they are, even the kangaroos are asleep during this time.

We then went to have the usual 101 rojak and fruit juice at the Explaned. That place was quite crowed too. There were strong wind and even the sea water splashed onto our heads and faces once in a while where we sit. There were some fireworks too. It was a very pleasant night.

The moment Renee met her Kai Ma Sue, she gave a huge smile and they got along so well ever since. And you can tell that her Kai Ma Sue is one of her favorite person now. She is alright with Blair too. Blair can carry her and play with her and she didn't start crying. I was so surprise that she did not cry or being cranky at all like what I thot she would.

Renee then started to play by herself in her 4 wheels drive during Chef Blair & Sue cook for us.
They cook like they are cooking for a village. There are so much food for only 4 of us as Min & Meg couldn't make it. But I will have to tell Min that she has missed out huge man as the meal was good!! This 2 cook are some real shit man. Not only they have the style, they can really cook! We had baked broccoli, a pan of nicely baked vege, grilled chicken that you probably can smells from houses away. It was a great lunch and we are honored. According to Sue, most people do Christmas lunch instead of dinner. Unlike here, we usually do dinner. And Christmas eve countdown celebration are definitely more massive here than in Australia. There, most people are already in bed so that they wouldn't bum into Santa while he is here to drop their gift in the sock.

We spend the later part of the afternoon at The Little India where I took Sue to tailored made her Saree as a Christmas gift for this year.
It is such a nice and lovely day overall.
Twain & I enjoyed ourselves. Renee has been happily following us around watching and observing. Just hope that Sue & Blair enjoy our company as much as we enjoy theirs.

Tree decoration done

2007-12-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

Christmas tree deco done!

Will start all the present shopping for friends and family soon.

Ho...Ho...Ho...

1st Christmas tree up

2007-11-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

This is the very first year we have got a Christmas tree decorated.
I've been planning to have one for many years and i think we should just nailed it down this year. The first Christmas with Renee around, it's going to be a nice and lovely one.
Plus Sue my darling Bitch will be here so soon...! Can't wait. June's wedding is so close now.
It is so nice that Dec is finally here after such a long wait...

Healthy food finally

2007-11-10T15:13:00.000+08:00

Woke early and decided to prepare Twain and me a little healthy breakfast.

It has been awhile since I make any breakfast.

So today, we are having scramble egg with wholemeal bread and apple & orange smoothies.

Can't wait till Dec

2007-10-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

Reason I can't wait tilll Dec is here:

1. it's Christmas!
2. Sue & Blair will be here to visit again!
3. June & Sami's wedding!
4. Renee turning 5 months old!
5. first time we are planning to decorate a christmas tree
6. Christmas shopping
7. holidays...holidays...
8. another brand new year is around the corner
9. and many many more good things await us......

Twain's 3 favorite things

2007-10-07T19:09:00.000+08:00

I am making a list for Twain, everything i can think of will be added into this list and he will have to give me 3 items in each catogery.

Favorite Movies:
1. Star Wars (all of it, he has seen all of it over and over...gosh...)
2. The Hunt for Red October
3. Star Trek (all of it, again he has seen all of it over and over...gosh...gosh)
**specially request by Twain to add more to the list
4. Love Actually, Independence Day, Armageddon, Transformer, endless......

Favorite Song:
1. My Love by Stevie Wonders & Julio Iglesios
2. Through The Barricades by Spandau Ballet
3. Truly by Lionel Richie

Favorite Actor:
1. Sir Antony Hopkins
2. Samual Leroy Jackson
3. Denzel Washington

Favorite Actress:
1. Ashley Judd (gorgeous !!)
2. Charlize Theron
3. Jessica Alba

Favorite Hong Kong Actor:
1. Tony Leoung
2. Wong Chau Sang
3. Leong Kah Fai

Favorite American Idol singer:
1. Chris Doughrty
2. Catherine McPhee
3. Clay Aiken

Favorite Cars:
1. Humvee
2. Volkswagen Beatle (old version)
3. Aston Martin

Favorite Air Craft:
1. F18 Hornet
2. boeing 747
3. nil

Favorite Clothing:
1. Ralph Lauren, Polo
2. Dockers
3. Nike

Favorite Shoe:
1. Timberland
2. Nike
3. Crocs

Favorite Liquor:
1. Guiness Stout
2. Brandy
3. Beer

Favorite Drink:
1. Hot plain water
2. Teh 'O' limau panas
3. Milo 'O'

Favorite Hawker Food:
1. Kuching Laksa
2. Kuching Ko Loong mee
3. Nasi Kandar

Favorite Home Cooked food:
1. anything my honey cook (specially speggetti)
2. Kuching kacang ma
3. baked chicken by himself

Favorite Sports:
1. badminton
2. scuba diving
3. Golfing

Favorite Festive Season:
1. Chinese New Year
2. Christmas
3. Hari Gawai Dayak

Favorite Holiday Destination:
1. England
2. somewhere under water
3. Kuching & Padang Besar (because of endless food)

Favorite weekend activity:
1. staying home with wife and daughter
2. watching Astro & Astro
3. do nothing (count hair)

Favorite Dogs ever owned:
1. Ginger (sweet & tender)
2. 3 terrorising kids at home now (Yoda, Yadel & Bobo)
3. Julie (intelligent guard dog)

Favorite Cats ever owned:
1. Mimi (know how to open doors)
2. Mao Mao (the fighting king)
3. another Mimi (lived with him for 13 human years, which means 100 over cats years..WOW!)

Favorite Dim Sum:
None!

Believe nothing

2007-03-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

Believe nothing,
no matter where you read it
or who has said it,
not even if i have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

~Buddha

Hanging out with myself

2006-10-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

Twain will be away more and more. I can see this is a hectic hectic year for him. He just got back from KL yesterday, flying to Bangkok the day after tomorrow and Dubai a week later. I'm happy for him for he loves what he is doing and I want him to go all out to do what he wants. Who else loves what they are doing nowadays? I don't even know if I am. I haven't heard much people say they love what they are doing for ages.

The thing I hate about him being away is the fact that he is not around, but I love getting to look forward to his return.

I'm sitting in the living room myself again tonight. Twain had gone to a business meeting and ya people had business meeting till mid night nowadays. Don't ask me why. I ops for some reading while listening to Craig Linders's piano collection tonight and I had always enjoy moment like this. The feeling of serenity and content. The feeling of if given a choice, I will still choose to be where I am right now spending time with myself.

Everyone need to have some things they love to keep them going. For me, besides having time with my beloved family and all my favorite friends, moment like now is what I love, hanging out with myself. It is seriously not as bad as what we think to be alone. I am getting a little hang of it actually.

My 2007 revolutions

2006-10-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

I just realized during lunch today that almost all my colleagues give their parents some money on a monthly basis. Me? Never.

Think of it, I felt so bad and guilty. My parents had taken such a good care of me and had also given me every single possible things I need on earth but other than CNY ang pow, I have neither given them anything nor had i ever buy them a trip to anywhere. My heart sink as I think. I am at the stage where I should have a lum sum of saving and are financial stable and are at least credit card debt free but I am so NOT! The least I can do is at least get them a yearly medical insurance cover right?

I feel so ashame for not being able to do just that. How do they feel each time when they hear neighbors or friends bragging about where their kids take them and how much they got from their kids each month? Do they feel sad and tears in private? Or do they feel totally alright about it?

I know money is not everything, and I know both of you would prefer and will be happier if we are well and spend more time with you but I still feel that to be able to give even a little is the least responsibility I should do. Without you, I won't be where I am today and please do not doubt my love for both of you. I know, you know I love you.

I have put this as first priority in my to-do-list and it is definitely my No.1 2007 revolution!

Grandma...101

2006-06-13T11:33:00.000+08:00

Today we celebrate another birthday with our most respectful grandma.
She is 101 this year!! Yes, Dalmation Ah Mah..
All of us, the son, daughter, in-law, uncle and aunty , grandchildren and great grandchildren were here to celebrate this joyful joyful occasion with her.
This year, we didn't have that grand celebration where lots of family friends and business friends are invited like what we did last year. This year Ah Mah is surrounded by us, her closest direct family.
And all of us are already enough to make a really huge crowd. Lots of her great grandchildren were there to make the occasion a merrier one.
Ah Mah had 2 new great grandsons added to her family tree this year.
That makes it a total of 164 in terms of grand and great grandchildren.

Blessed

2006-06-13T11:04:00.000+08:00

Dear God,
It's me again. Who else is here to bug you in the morning. I know how often I come to You and all for the wrong things but don't be upset or annoyed by tons of my bitching and moaning.
I just want You to know that I might be a bit of a sad case and I know I have an endless list about how my life should be, how things could be better and etc but the truth is I've always feel I am so blessed by You. Where I am now, things I'm doing, my jobs and life I'm heading are all my own choices. If I think it should be any better then I might want to look into rearranging my own priorities and level of commitment.
But You, You had given me a wonderful family, a loving marriage and a great value of health. All these is out of my choice and control and it's given to me by You without me asking. Those are things in life that I will always be thankful for. And if there is any other thing I want to ask for now, it is strength, courage and wisdom I would ask for.
Amen.

My handbook

2006-05-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

I shall be following this handbook for all these years to come:-

As a person
sincere
honest
understanding
be able to help
fun & loving
humorous

Personal well-being
stay young and beautiful always (at heart at least)
face mask twice a week
facial & massage once a month
to pick up: yoga, dancing, singing
healthy diet & drink lots of H2o
be financially stable (clear all credit cards outstanding in 2 yrs)
travel to see the world at least once a year

Career
home
a reasonable, understanding & supportive wife
a fun & loving mother
to raise wonderful, independent & courages children

work
continue working
looking for opportunities to do my own thing

Life goal
giving back - in whichever biz that I will be successfully doing, looking at getting involves and helping some charity organizations

My belief
We should enjoy life even though we have not made it. Everyone should enjoy and celebrate life at any stage and with what we have, with no excuse. At the end of the day, success is not the most important thing, the process is.
Life is a continuous succession of present moment, so live happily in the present moment.

Have faith no matter what

All ending are good; if it is not good, it's not the end.

My own conclusion
Most human problems are mostly mentally.
When the mind set is right, things will be in the right place.
That's why people say if you are mentally strong, you can do anything you want.
I'm not mentally strong, but I will try.
In fact I have just started my journey towards where I want to be.

Boredom

2006-05-09T14:56:00.000+08:00

I’m bored at work today as I have finished doing things that I needed to do.

I’m bored! I nearly fall asleep! Sitting here and acted like I’m busy is really crappy and a waste of time. I want to go home and sleep. This stupid full blast air-cond that is so freezing cold here should be really good for an afternoon nap. Gosh…what the hell am I doing here? What am I going to do for the whole afternoon? I need something to make me awake. I have stole and munched some of my friend’s biscuits. I’m having coffee now and that didn’t help. Damn it. I’m freaking bored…bored to death…bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!!!

Do you believe that I’m really bored now? I really am.
God help me.

Are we hanging in the middle?

2006-05-07T23:19:00.000+08:00

A group of us are hanging out at a club having tea and watching the sea, I told our friends that I think all of us are hanging in the middle. Not up here; not down there; exactly right in the middle. It’s like we are not there yet, we can’t say we have make it, can we? None of us who were sitting there can; but we are not down there either, it’s not like we are at a very bad stage of life now, we are all doing alright. That’s why I said we are hanging in the middle.

A friend asked what is my definition of “we had made it”? I think one can say they have made it when they can just go out, see a house they like and buy it, their problem is not the money, it is whether they come across any house they like or not, then I think they have made it financially. Though there might still be some part in their life that is still missing when one had made it financially. It could be their health, marriage, family and etc.
Life is never prefect, never.

I think everyone should just enjoy life at any stage, even when we have not made it, or even we are at somewhere below average. Everyone should just enjoy life with what we have, with no excuse. At the end of the day, success is not the most important thing, the process is. Isn’t that why a lot of success story and biographic made it to the top selling chart? Seriously, I don’t see a point if one had made it but has nothing to tell the world except he has succeeded, it’s like a car ride without seeing any breathtaking view alongside.

A total Stranger

2006-04-28T16:15:00.001+08:00

A very dear friend of mine is going thru a break up. She told me she was not in a very good shape but is getting better when we met up. Then she felt awful again when she found out that the EX said something hurtful and stupid and played ignorance. That hurt like hell.

It’s like the man that you love and trust so much, you planned to spend the rest of your life with, you thought you have know him inside out has suddenly become a total stranger to you? How could that happened? Ya, how could that be? It hurt even more if this happened for no reason, just like that. I still don’t get it, the person that you feel most connected to is now not related to you at all. Not even one bit. And he or she shall be a nobody if not a total stranger when we bump into them.

Unless the person you were with was a complete arsehole, if not I totally understand how going thru this worse patch of life can be. It is shitty. You feel helpless and vulnerable. And we tend to keep thinking back and finding more reasons telling ourselves that we should be together, that we were the perfect couple. The thought that we will no longer have that specific person in our life anymore terrify us. It’s like no more hands, you are all alone. It means no one will be there to listen to our craps, our complaints, to be there to watch TV with, no one to share our dinner with, to laze around with and to give us a hug and a peck when we are tired and need comforting and worse no one to have a wet kiss or to make love to. It is everything. Our world is empty now. It almost collapsed. It has turned cold and grey, just like winter.

I don’t know what to tell her. I am not good at this. I don’t know what the right words are or are there actually any words for this at all? The way I see it, no one can help her except herself. She needs to put that entire burden she got behind and I believe now is still too fast for that. Oh but I did tell her if she feels sad, don’t deny it. Just go with the flow until she feels numb then her body will have the antibody for it eventually. I know what I said was cold, told you I don’t know what to say. But she will be alright and I hope she get over it not because she has to or it is a race to see who got over it first but simply because she finally realize that she is a special person and she definitely deserve someone better.

He can’t wait no more…

2006-04-27T10:15:00.000+08:00

As Twain and I lied on the bed preparing to go to sleep, he turned and asked me a very heart melting question. ”Do you know what I can’t wait to do now?”
I shook my head and he said that is to go shop for a baby cot, baby clothing, baby stuffs and start doing up a baby room.
My smile broke into a big laugh because it’s funny (not that I’m pregnant yet) but I am happy to know that he really can’t wait to be a father, can he? And my heart melted because I can feel his love for his child at the same time. And I know he is dead serious about being a father.

Out of the sudden, my macho Twain has showed the soften side of him and I love that …muah..haha…

My eating habit sucks

2006-04-25T13:29:00.000+08:00

I just got back from lunch and there is only one thing I can tell you…I'm bloody FULL!!
I feel like I am so full that I'm having difficulties to breath..oh God…why did I do this to myself?

I feel like I'm always eating even though I don't feel hungry. I eat mainly to fulfill my own desire for food and I'm always craving for many kinds of food ranging from pastry to curry.
I have put on 3 kgs ever since I started working and seeing that layer of tummy falling out it's yucky.

I had horrible breakfast (coz cafeteria food suck but why do I still eat?). I sometimes have lunch that I asked myself why I even bother eating coz I'm still full from breakfast, then I munch at my cubicle so that I could stay awake. And I usually have heavy dinner with Twain (coz dinner is usually - Chu Char rice and dishes). After that I will just let myself lie dead in front of the TV watching series after series, many times I dozed off. Twain always tell me that this couch potato at home is growing bigger and bigger.

My eating habits Sucks!!

Sudden death

2006-04-24T13:05:00.000+08:00

We were informed that my colleague will be on leave for the whole week. She has just lost her younger brother during the weekend. Her brother was only in his early 20’s. He was on vacation in Redang when this happened and the caused of it is said to be sudden death. I feel shock and sorry and at the same time wondering how things can happen just like that without any hint. We were still talking and laughing on Fri afternoon not smelling that something is going to happen to his brother. I can never and will never be able to accept it if this were to happen to me. I mean who can? Even thinking of it is equally painful. What am I going to do if this were to happen to me? How am I going to get through and get over it losing someone we love so much and grew up with? I will collapse and breakdown.

But then again, maybe God has called upon him for a certain reason and if this is why he has to leave his beloved family and everything on earth behind, I hope my colleague and her family will eventually know that God has had a bigger mission for him and that they should too Believe and rest everything in HIS hand. The truth is we never really may have or own anyone in this world. What we have is the memory of all the wonderful moment we had with them.

Therapy

2006-04-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

I woke up at noon, sleep as much as I can to take advantage of a non-working day. I then ate the last poh-piah (spring-roll). Yeah, and that will marked the 4th day I ate the same stuff in a stretch. Hmm…it is still yummy surprisingly. I might start buying and eating this again by next week.
I planned to have laksa in the afternoon and western food from Mutiara Selera at night for tomorrow. I’m already craving for the food now as I am typing now.

I met up with the gals and we had dinner at Salsa. It was so nice to see everyone again. I don’t know. I always feel like I have not seen them for a long time every time I met them. After a while, our voice and laughter had filled up the whole restaurant and we normally get louder and louder as the topics get juicier. We usually discussed and talked about the tiniest issue to some serious personal problems we are facing with the husband, in-laws, family and from work. We listened, consoled and condemned.

I always feel that the time we get together is like a therapy to me. We can just say what we want to each other, anything. Things we feel uncomfortable saying to our co-worker, our siblings and etc we normally pour among us each time we met. It feels so relief after that; it is like putting behind your entire burden. Our brain is usually fully on rest mode because what we do is usually talk non-stop for the next few hours. The fact is we have known all of us since we were in high school and we have become sisters ever since and by the rate we are going it looks like we need each other for a really long time.

Min once said it is sad that people our age do not have clean fun like what we used to have in school anymore. Last night however just reminded me that that was what we have always been doing all this while, talking crap, gossiping, giggling and laughing solely at some words and things around us. One good example to prove it, we can talk without a topic or talk about the same topic for the whole night, you pick. Our men still have not found a way to cope with us when we are all together because it is too chaotic, but I think they should be used to it by now.

I am always grateful to have all of you as friends.
(June was not with us last night but she is of course included, Sue, Min, Dee, Cal and many more, we might not always see each other, but I’ve always think of you guys.)

Happy Sunday

2006-04-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

I had a wonderful Sunday today.
I managed to do everything I wish to do. I managed to take a nap in the afternoon (haven’t done that for ages), eat my favorite laksa, watch my favorite series, drag Twain to go shopping with me and had western food for dinner. I felt content having to do everything I want in one day. And it is simple day like this that makes me happy.

Poh Piah (Spring-roll)

2006-04-21T11:09:00.000+08:00

I have been craving for Poh-Piah crazily these few days. Tonight is the 3rd night I’m having Poh-Piah for dinner and it is still yummy. And for your information, I still have one roll for spare just in case I still crave for it after tonight. I feel safer keeping an extra one for spare. I’m always paranoid with things like this.

This poh-piah I carved is not any poh-piah. It has to be the one from Bee Hooi Pulau Tikus. The uncle and his son looked happy to see me three days in a roll. I think they feel honored. Who wouldn’t? I would. It only proved that either they really make good poh-piah or I’m nuts.

Try it, you can taste all the listed below in one bite and I can ensure you that it is all you need when you needed a light meal or when you are sick of all the other stuff:
Steam mix veggie (mangkuang, long-beans, carrot)
- Omelet cut into small pieces
- Shrimps
- Deep fried onion
- Chinese pancake skin (make of flour and egg)

Puppy eye

2006-03-29T14:51:00.000+08:00

Yoda looked at me with his lovey dovey eyes from a corner as I waved goodbye leaving for work this morning. Now I think people called it the puppy eye for a reason. His eyes and the sticking upwards pair of ears are sooo adorable. To tell you the truth, I think adorable is still an understatement to his look this morning. It’s like, you can’t help but to squeeze and hug this teddy bear as hard as you can. The look in his eyes is like saying: oh you leaving now…come home soon mommy…I love you. Oh Yoda, Yoda…I can’t help but cracked into a huge smile. You’ve warmed my heart and make my day with so little effort.

Banana - The way to go

2006-03-15T15:48:00.000+08:00

After reading this, you'll never look at banana the same way again!

Bananas Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, it gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey, amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.

PMS: Forget the pills -- eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.

Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many illness. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"

Happiness

2006-02-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

“The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."

-anonymous

Words Women Use

2006-01-16T14:07:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine sent me this and I was laughing my lungs out reading it not only because visualizing these words being used is entertaining but also because it is so true!
I am giving my personal salute to the person who record every single detail of these "coding".
Here's to help the men out there from getting into a lot of shit by learning and understanding the women's coding and therefore avoid the disasters from hitting.

"Fine"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
"Five minutes"
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. "Five minutes" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing"
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

"Go ahead"
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

"That's okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Whatever"
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ you!

Every first time…

2005-11-21T01:24:00.000+08:00

The first time I experienced being picked pocket was during our Europe trip, and it happened in Prague. Prague is such a very beautiful country but there is always an ugly side of everything. In fact, being snatched and picked pocket happen all the time every where in Europe.

We have been very careful in London and Paris, and had never thot that this will happen at our last stop. And if we were to think of the bright side, it was our last stop and only our last part of the trip is ruined. The bad side, this damn incident just have to happen to us even though we were being so extra careful and alert. I guess this people who did it are all really pro and expert in what they do. We don't even feel a thing.

It all happened on a tramp ride and I'm fully to be blamed for. I kept asking Twain when are we going on a tramp because there has been a while I've been riding in one. Since after Melbourne I think. Twain suggested that we walk around and see more things on foot first and I agreed and that's sometime around noon. After a whole day of walking around wanted to cover as much as we can, we were so bloody tired and exhausted. So, in the evening, I reminded Twain again that we have not been onto a tramp yet. There are lots of people both waiting and also on the tramp, probably going home after works or purposely waiting for their chances to 'make a living'. Twain asked if I would like to walk a little as our hotel isn't that far or still go on a tramp when it is so cramp. He asked me to pick one and I said go on a tramp coz I can't walk anymore. I'm too tired to walk after a whole day of walking. So we push our way on to the tramp not knowing that we are being marked as a target to attack.

We felt nothing until we came down from the tramp. Twain realised our view cam is no longer hanging on his back. We were totally shock as this is the first time we experienced being picked, and happening in foreign made it more tragic to us. Twain totally lost his mind and became so mad coz he had took so much pictures all over places and this is his first time being so adventurous and artistic of becoming a photographer and I have to admit I do love that part of him.

We rushed back to the hotel, to make police report and to call home. When I was about to reach for my mobile to make a call to June, I realised my handphone with June's pre-paid card and my little purse with my Mycard and all credit cards in it are all gone. I just couldn't except that this is happening because I didn't feel a thing. Was I dead for 10-15 mins or they just hypnotised me..? Twain got crazier this time. He was cursing endlessly. He took a fab and we went up to our room and called home to stop all the cards. We were still stunned and in shock. Couldn't believe at what had just happened to us.

The weather turned from cold to freezing on our way to the police station. I felt so guilty. I felt bad. I apologised to Twain on all that had happened to us and to my surprise, he was not angry at me at all. He comforted me instead telling me that things will be alright, that God will punish the men who did this to us and he hold me tight. Tears rolled down from my eyes. I felt blessed and safe out of sudden being with this man I married, for his forgiveness and unconditional love. I cried because I know if this is the other way round, I would have started blaming and taking everything out on him.

At the moment, the very moment, I know I can lose everything and it doesn't matter as long as i have him. I thot to myself, every first time I encounter anything, good or bad, uplifting or depressing, I want to experience it with him...

The way kids see love…

2005-09-14T17:01:00.000+08:00

I specially loveee this article, it's on The way kids see Love…, it's awesome!
You will be so surprise what they see in Love compared to us and that they have definitely help us look at Love from a totally different angle.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over andpaint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,even when his hands got arthritis too.
That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate" Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Dive into the rhythm

2005-09-04T21:59:00.000+08:00

Sitting at home on this hot hot Sunday afternoon, I refused to leave the house and let the sun melt me into caramel syrup.
My favorite music from the Café Del Mar collection called the Northern Lights is on max volume that I'm sure our neighbor could hear. Lying on the couch with the air from the fan brushing gently thru my face, I just let go and deep dived into the rhythm, letting a set of scenic melody taking full control of me. I just loooove this music! It's dreamy and yet real. You feel like you are reaching the sky and ya, you definitely see the northern light. My heart felt the calmness that I have not felt for ages. It's phenomenal.
If you never try letting music drive your imagination wild or taking your spirit sky high, try it, you will love it.

Unconditional love

2005-09-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

I was watching TV and saw Yadel looking at me from the door and my heart melted seeing how long she keep looking at me from the door, it’s like saying: “mummy let me in, let me in, pleaseeeee….would you? Let me sit right next to you…” she is so adorable…the feeling of having her following me around and watch me when I’m working on the garden or any house work is awesome. I know I can’t ask for a better friend.

And if she would understand human language like everyone says they do, she knows: mummy loves her as much…

Hormones

2005-08-15T21:40:00.000+08:00

I think my bad hormone is here again. I think they have successfully conquered and taken over me entirely again this month. In fact, they have never failed to do so. Yup, it should be around now. What can I say, but giving in to them. I feel weak and numb. I can’t fight back. I just can’t. I wanted to but my mind won’t let me. I just let the bad hormones control me for as far as they want to and Twain is always the first one to feel them coming.

When my bad hormone is around, everything is a bad thing, everything. Days are grey. Everything gets on to my nerve. I hate to think, don’t throw me any questions. Don’t ask me to do anything during this time too because I refuse to move. All men are my enemies. I specially hate Twain’s guts. He annoys me 16 hours of the day, the hours that I don’t get irritated by him is when we are asleep. “Don’t say a word. Don’t open your mouth! Leave me ALONE!!” These are my favorite lines.

Twain told me once when I’m with my good hormones, I am such a nice sweet person he wanted to be with forever but not when my bad hormones are around. He is afraid that he can’t take it for long. I was mad and feeling guilty at the same time hearing that. But it’s only a few days I thought and I’m back to my normal self…Is it so horrible? What do you want me to do? I’m a victim too you know? I was being attacked without even realizing it.

Some days, it is all hatred, some days, it is totally emotional. I wanted to cry about anything, if can everything. Everything makes me feel so down. Everything is so hopeless and all I want to do is blast into tears and cry out loud. Some day, I just want to be a bitch. I sit around and bitch and moan about everything.

Gosh…I hate this!! Even chocolate can’t help me now. Evening Primrose obviously didn’t help either.
Waarr…...Where are all my good hormones during this time? Why do they leave me just like that? If I keep letting the bad hormone taking over me, I think Twain will be leaving me next.
Honey, just want you to know that I didn’t mean it to take it out on you and please don’t love me less because of this. I’m only a little monster about 60 days out of 365 days.

Latest sandals fashion…

2005-08-12T15:33:00.000+08:00

Have anyone seen the latest sandal’s fashion from Milan? I’m very sure this is the greatest design I have seen this summer. Designed by Bobo of course…I mean who else will come out with such work?!

He must really hated all the left side of the sandals…sigh...
By the way, Bo Bo is a dog of mine.

How long can I do this?

2005-08-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

I’ve always think that I have been living a good life. Now that I’m not working anymore, the flexibility I got make me feel even better. I basically do what I want and what I wish any time any day. I don’t have to wake up and rush to work early in the morning and I don’t have to listen to most unreasonable bosses. Chasing for deadline is definitely not found in my dictionary. But I tried to read more, to look up on the internet for information more, look for news and etc more so that I’m not left behind, so that there won’t be a gap between me and the world. I don’t have stress from work to deal with but I do have a totally different kind of stress which I never think I would have before to cope with now and I’m still finding ways to deal with this invisible force.

Today, I had Belgian chocolate wafers for lunch after I did some shopping. As I was sipping away my cappuccino, I can’t help but asking myself how long will this lifestyle goes on? How long can I do this? Forever? I will be lying if I said I’m not enjoying all these. But what if God decided to take it away from me? I always believe God is capable of doing that as a creator of this universe. Reason: to teach me a lesson. Will He do that?

I have noticed lately that as I enjoy more (it can be anything, eg spa, facial, shopping or even just a meal in the restaurant), my guilt grow accordingly. And if I were to explain this in a mathematic equation, it should be Enjoyment = Guilt.

I can’t help but feeling so guilty. I think it is for not contributing to the household although Twain keep telling me it is not necessary. But to me, it is not the matter of whether it is necessary or not anymore, it is the sense of achievement in life that I need to have here. I need to feel like I’m doing something. Anything. I feel like I’m the most useless person on earth. At some point, I think I have lost part of my soul. But I will not let this awful feeling get away with victory just like that. It is not my nature. I always have ways to make peace with myself.

Suddenly I felt a slight sense of relief. It is not the end of the world. I know I will come out with something.

Baby clothing

2005-08-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

I was walking in the baby clothing department searching for some gifts for 2 of my friend’s new born baby girl and my own nephew. All babies clothing are so cute and lovely. But to me, other than that, I don’t feel anything right now maybe because I know it’s not for my own baby. There is no sense of attachment. It feels like I’m doing groceries shopping except this is slightly harder.

I can’t help but wandering what will it feels like if I’m choosing all these for my own baby? Will I be more careful? More picky? Do I feel more special on everything I chose? Do I turn to check all the tags inside to see what this piece of clothe is made of?
Does it have any material in it that will cause rashes on my baby’s skin?
Are all mothers like that?

I’m sure lot’s of women’s dreams is to become a mother, to give birth to a healthy and a loving baby. But I’m not sure if that’s my dream now? I’m confused. Sometimes it is; Sometimes it is not. Some day, I feel I’m so ready, I can be a mom; Some day, I just freak out, I’m so unprepared, I’m not ready.

Should I tell my baby when they are older that they are only 2 yrs old and not 4 yrs old now because their mommy is selfish. Because she still wanted daddy to take care of her, to only care for her and to only focus on her for as long as she would takes. That she still wanted to feel carefree, do things her own way, living her unhealthy life style, watch movies till dawn, go out partying and hangout with friends whenever she wants. Sleep through and lazing around the whole weekend is what she won’t exchange with anything. She wanted a one month Europe trip. She is also afraid of taking the responsibilities. She is not use to it. She still wanted to rely on daddy on most if not all things.

I wish I could give Twain a baby, right now. I know how much he wanted them, baby of our own. They mean so much to him. It is definitely God’s gift. Maybe God knows that deep down, I’m just not ready to be a mother yet. He knows I feel relieve every time I got my period. I never told Twain. And if there is any sign that will tell us if we are ready to be a parent, it is not God, or anyone else but ourselves.

When my baby comes to me, I will be a great mom, this one I promise.

Huge pot

2005-08-01T17:25:00.000+08:00

We finally bought this old fashioned huge pot we wanted for ages to be placed in the bathroom. The water kept in this pot is very cooling. Can’t be better for the hot summer day!

The shoe theory

2005-07-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

As I was approaching Mid-Valley, all I can think to myself is today’s target is shoes because Bobo is either very bored of all his toys that I bought him or he has swallowed all of them. Sometimes I can’t seem to be able to find where all his toys are. But I also do not quite understand why is this way- passed-puppy dog still chewing and eating all our stuff in the garden ranging from plants (no, he is not vegetarian), to shoes and even rocks & soil!!

The Malaysia mega sale is on everywhere this time around. I felt like I’m on a competition…some kind of race like see who got the most kind of competition. And if there is anything I want to be the champion the most, it will be “The Shopping Queen Competition”. Without much effort, I have gotten myself 5 pairs of shoes at the counter. A particular pair that really caught my attention at my first glanced is this very bitchy and bimbo looking heels. I know Twain will definitely have something to say about this heel but I just like it a lot, don’t ask me why. Who cares if this heels make me look bitchy? Can a pair of shoe really make a person a bitch or a good person? How unfair is that? What if some good persons are born with a very weird shoe taste?

I asked Twain how do I look with that heels on when we are at home and he sort of just stared at me and went: err…err… and I know exactly what he is doing. He is trying to find a nicer word to say to me so that I won’t growl at him. I told him to say what he needed to say and finally he told me that: err…I think this heel make you look bitchy, it’s like a whore…you know…you saw lots of these worn in Hatyai.

My heart smiled. A sense of satisfactory came to me because he has just helped me proved that a nice, sweet and kind hearted lady like me can look like a bitch if I have my bitchy heel on…don’t you get it? It’s all the shoe’s fault if I am a bitch…the problem is not me…muah…ha…ha…

My hobby?

2005-07-23T16:13:00.000+08:00

I was on this boat trip with a group of divers. They dived, they jumped into the middle of the rough sea from the deck for fun when the boat is not moving (these 2, you can just kill me and I wouldn’t do) they talked about how they dive, the gears, the underwater world and etc. I’m the only alien on the boat. I don’t dive plus I sure will not risk my life and jump into the open sea in the middle of no where. I did ask myself why was I there? Mostly, it’s because I wanted to see what Twain does on his dive trip, what is a dive trip like and partly also I don’t want to be apart from him for 1 whole week.

One evening when I was watching the sunset on the deck holding a Reader Digest in my hand (not that I can read when the water is so rough), a girl came by and asked me: you don’t dive, so what is your hobby? Gosh…leave me alone, I hate this question. Why does she need to ask me anything about hobby? About activities we do in our own time? I know…I know…I’m neither a sophisticated diver nor a golfer. I don’t jog and I don’t hike. I don’t do a lot of things ok.

Should I just tell her the truth about my hobby? That my hobby is shopping, yoga, Pilates and social dancing (it’s just that I haven’t started all that), reading (see, I’m holding a book now), watching TV, cooking and baking (it’s just that I seldom cook and bake), and listening to music. Can activities that we seldom or never do be listed as our hobby?

I don’t like sports, water sports, I hate all cardio activities, and if I so call like doing yoga, Pilates and social dancing how come I’m not doing any of that yet? Is there any one else out there without a proper hobby or is it just me?

I’m just a lazy lazy person full of crap. All I do is sit or laze around, watch TV, then watch TV again, and again…oh my God! I basically do nothing but sit, lazing around and watch TV?! Should I tell her now that this is my hobby? But why can my lips move? Am I being ashamed of telling anyone about my hobby? I think I absolutely am. Even if this is a real hobby, it is so unhealthy. Other then exhausting my eyes more, I don’t even need to move any other of my body parts except my thumb. What a lazy arse I am! I hate myself.

Oh, my hobby? I read, I go shopping, and suddenly gardening came to my mind so I added that (but the only thing is that I didn’t tell her what is in my garden is mostly water plant which again you don’t need to do much). She must be thinking what an airheaded fool I’m. Why even bother.
Thinking to myself after that, is having tea and chit-chat with a group of friends considering hobby? If yes, then I will have 1 more hobby to make my hobby list a total of 4.

Mindy

2005-07-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

Mindy is back from N. Zealand. I have not seen her for years. But after meeting up with her tonight she is still the same old Min I know from years ago and this is one of the things I like about Min. She can disappear for half a decade and come back unchanged. She is Original.

I first met Min in college many years ago. Then we spent some years in Melbourne together. I've always miss our time there. We did lots of crazy and fun things together.
Eat, drink, go out, sight see, shop, see her performed, seeing her falling head over heel with a guy, I like her drawing and her blog and so much more….

If anyone were to ask me what I think about Min, I would say she is Different & Original. She is Min and no one else can be her. She dress in her Min style no matter what is the current fashion trend, speak her mind and she has her own style of gesture and expression. Oh, and she has this funny little dance that we always like to watch, period! She picked that up since she was a kid. That dance will definitely make you laugh, I promise.

She is probably the only person I know that is so frank about how she feels and what she is going thru with her life, no cover up, no mask or even if she is trying to cover up you can probably tell. She has traveled thru continents on her own. She has the courage to change job if whatever she is doing is not what she wants. I mean how many of us out there do that? Like me, I have had so many plans and dreams of what I want to do but there is always a 'but' and so many excuses…I don't think I have the courage go to Africa on my own! Who is going to rescue me if a lion were to come after me?!

A lot of times, there are things Min said that had hit right onto my face that help me realized why I was down and what I was unhappy about. The truth is, sometimes we are even in denial of telling ourselves the truth of how we feel, or that we are not good enough, or that we are a lousy person... And it is so good to have someone like her around to always remind us of where the truth lies.

Ring

2005-06-21T16:57:00.000+08:00

Who said we need to be wealthy to own a 2 carrot ring…
If Twain were to propose to me with this ring, I will still say ‘yes’ anytime.
Seriously. For the creativity and the sincerity.

(picture from June)

Someone dear who came for a visit

2005-05-27T16:33:00.000+08:00

Sue and Blair came to visit after she moved to Australia many years ago. We have always keep in touch and I was so delighted when she told me that she will come to visit.
I met her many years back during the time I was still in Australia. Now, she has shed some weight and she looks gorgeous.

We were best buddy in college days. Before I met her, I have heard some rumors about a new girl that just came were too 'sexy' and speak English with accent, very loud and fierce. The first day I saw Sue, she was in a pair of shorts denim and a white singlet, a wild hairdo, sexy indeed but she was friendly I thought. We became friends ever since.

I took them for local cuisine the first day they are here, and the drinks she ordered for the whole trip was 'teh tarik' (teh peng). She used to drink lots of that when she was here and she told me so many times that she will only have teh tarik when she is here and she did. I forget to count how many teh tarik she had for the whole visit. She and Blair like the Green House Hokkien mee and banana leaf too. It reminded me so much of the time when we used to be lunch mate in college; we will normally missed classes after lunch to go shopping. There were once when we come across very rude shop assistance, Sue took revenge by throwing all the folded shirts from the shelf on the floor. I was shock and run out of the shop waiting for her to do what she has to do to make her feels better. That's Sue. You don't want to be her enemy, trust me. She can be the queen of all bitches if she wants to.

We hugged and say good night so many times the night before they are leaving. She told me she will arrive in the afternoon and will call when she reach home.
I got a call from her at about 11am from KLIA the day she left home asking myself how come she has reach home so early? From the other end of the phone, I heard background noise from the airport and started to sense something must be wrong and she told me that there were something wrong with her passport, the immigration stop her from leaving the country and she is coming back to Penang. 'Special' thing like this will only happen to Sue. Twain and I rushed to pick her up from the airport and we went to picked Blair up from one of the most characteristic hotel in Penang.

For the next few days, we hang out, spend our time solving the passport issue, had English breakfast at friend's place, watch DVDs and talked. It was so nice and I know that I will definitely miss that. Sometimes I wish Sue stay just an hour drive away so that I get to see her more often or whenever I want. When anyone needs to be cheered or when you need a morale boost, she is probably the person you need to go to. Her laughter which can be heard miles away will help to put your sorrow away. Joyful and uplifting spirit 24x7 is her trademark. She is also a very good person to go to for opinion and suggestion. Remember, the only thing you don't want is to become her enemy.

After a few days we knew that there is quite impossible for her to go back in this coming few months but she can't wait, she needs to go back to work. Luckily we have got a contingency plan put aside since the problem arise - that is to smuggle her out thru Thailand. And we did. It was the first and only time we smuggled live goods out from the country and everybody is so excited. The moment we got thru the immigration everyone just blast into laughter. What an experience but again if you are not Sue's friend, you might not get a chance to do this. Sue then spend a day in Bangkok. I think she did go shopping and that make her a happy gal.

She is now home safely.

Mexico Bun Competition

2005-05-25T21:46:00.000+08:00

Competition: Mexican Bun Competition
Date: 25-05-05
Venue: Gurney Tower, Penang
Judge: Blair from Australia
Secretary: Sue Lye

All Mexican Bun you can get in Penang..
Mexican Bun from Bread to Brag
Mexican Bun from Bread Story
Mexican Bun from Roti King
Mexican Bun from Bread History

The professor of Mexican Bun is taking his first bite during the Mexican Bun Competition..

and he is taking many more bites...

start to slowing down after having too much of it...

Sue, the secretary is jotting everything down for the boss..

The Comment:

Bread to Brag:- too soft, not flavored enough

Bread History:- too soft, coffee flavored too mild, similar to Bread to Brag.

Roti King:- thick top, chocolate flavored, can't taste the coffee, not nice..

Bread Story:- Chocolate flavored, slight taste of coffee, nice & crispy, chocolate chips on top makes a difference. nice taste, less butter which is good..

The Result:

1.Bread Story

2.Bread History

3.Bread to Brag & lastly

4.Roti King

Success is a state of mind

2005-05-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

Saw this on the web as I was browsing through and thought it wasn’t that hard to be successful was it?

I do agree with the author that “When you understand success as a state of mind, not just an outcome, any moment can be a victory.
But it is not as easy as it may seem to be because I can’t give a firm ‘yes’ to any item from the author’s list below:

Staying focused (I just can’t… I’m easily distracted)

Being optimistic, no matter what (Will try harder)
Raising confident kids (Will try to have a family planning first)
Earning more than you ever dreamed (ya right!)
Hanging in, regardless (I wanted to, but…)
Passing on what you know (I wish I know more things to pass on)
Running for office (Huh? You kidding?)
Finding work you love (Be realistic la, Im not an artist...)
Telling the truth, always (This I do)
Paying off debts (In the process)
Finding the good in being fired (Will try when it happens)
Winning a tough case (never encounter yet)
Celebrating a milestone birthday (That’s my 100 yrs old grandma)
Exceeding your parents' expectations (I don’t even dare to ask what is their expectation on me)
Building a house with a Habitat for Humanity team (Is there a manual for this?)
Bouncing back after a failure (Still learning how to)
Delivering a healthy baby (Can’t say yet)
Mastering the impossible eg. Mt. Everest (Just kill me)
Losing the last ten pounds (After maternity…)
Meditating every morning (I’m not going to the war am I?)
Accepting your looks hair and all (Accept that I’m ugly but adorable)
Learning to forgive your worst enemy (I will read more of the Bible for a start)

Conclusion is: I am such a loser!

Definition of Love

2005-04-19T16:45:00.000+08:00

A close friend shared this article with me.
She said she is not an expert in love, nor guarantee her choice at this stage in life is the right path but one thing she knows is that sometimes 'love' can be very realistic, very common, very monotonous, not always romance and fireworks which I think it’s so true.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin
by Louis de Bernieres

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just "being in love", which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

Grandma’s Centenary

2005-04-18T16:00:00.000+08:00

Grandma turned 100 today. It is definitely a very happy occasion for everyone. At least I know for sure I will not live to eye witness another centenary celebration. It is not easy to live for a century. If I ever live until the age of 70, every minute after that is a bonus.

The vision of grandma carrying me behind her back for the whole night because I was being a brat, I couldn’t stop crying because my mom is away in the hospital giving me my brother Hooi is still so clear in my mind. I felt so guilty every time I thought of that. I feel terribly sorry that she still needs to carry a burden like me in her seventies.

She is also my alarm clock when I was in secondary school. She used to make sure I’m up and leave home on time for school. She will then stood by the window and waved me and Peggy who come and fetch me to school in her bike goodbye.

The skin on her hand is so wrinkled now that you can pull it so far away from her flesh and that is what I like to do most each time I see her. But never try to fool her as her mind and brain is more alert then some of the youngsters.
Incredibly smart woman I never doubt she is. The ability of her telling a person's personality by just one glance and is almost always right is what I admire the most out of her.
I like to see her smiles because the serenity that comes out of her when she smiles is simply blissful. I can’t imagine us without her existence because she has always been the core of our heart and family, and i believe she will always be…

Grandma’s Particular :-

Name: Saw Yin Ching
Age : 100
Place of Birth: China
Year she migrated to Malaysia: 1956 (51 yrs old)
No. of children: 3 sons, 3 daughters
No. of grandchildren and grate grandchildren: 162
Favorite food: most deep fried food & fried chinese noodle
Favorite activity: watch Chinese Opera

Success is not a goal

2005-04-07T23:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Oprah,
Although I feel you are a little overacting and dramatic sometimes, but I totally agree with what you said on the below and I specially like the verse where you said: ‘if you want to have success, you can't make success your goal, the key is not to worry about being successful, but to instead work toward being significant’.
This is so true and I couldn’t have agree enough with you!

You said: "Everyone has the power for greatness—not for fame, but greatness, because greatness is determined by service." Even before I first heard my all-time favorite quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I knew in my heart that the message was true. As far back as I can recall, my prayer has been the same: "Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself."

All of us need a vision for our lives and even as we work to achieve the vision, we must surrender it to the power that is greater than we know. It's one of the defining principles of my life that I love to share: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you could ever dream for yourself. Success comes when you surrender to that dream—and let it lead you to the next best place.

What I know for sure is that if you want to have success, you can't make success your goal. As my friend, the gospel singer and minister, once told me, the key is not to worry about being successful, but to instead work toward being significant—and the success will naturally follow. How can you serve your way to greatness? When you shift your focus from success to service, your work as a teacher, clerk, doctor or dot-commer will instantly have more meaning.

Again, I totally respect you for what you have believed in above.

"Triangle of Life"

2005-04-01T15:09:00.000+08:00

This is worth a read, it could save your lives.
Its high time we start learning these survival skills as Malaysia should no longer be considered a nation free from natural catastrophe.

Doug Copp is the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of the American Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experienced rescue team. In 1996 he made a film which proved his survival methodology called "Triangle of Life" to be correct.

What is "Triangle of Life"?
When buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings falling upon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a space or void next to them. This space is what Doug called the "triangle of life".
The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less the object compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that the person who is using this void for safety will not be injured.
The next time you watch collapsed buildings on television, count the "triangles" you see formed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape you will see in a collapsed building.

The Turkish Federal Government, City of Istanbul, University of Istanbul Case Productions and ARTI cooperated to film this practical, scientific test. They collapsed a school and a home with 20 mannequins inside. 10 mannequins did "duck and cover," and 10 mannequins used "triangle of life" survival method. After the simulated earthquake collapse they crawled through the rubble and entered the building to film and document the results.
The film showed there were 0% survival for those doing "duck and cover". There would likely have been 100 % survivability for people using method of the "triangle of life."

Roberto Rosales, Chief of Rescue in Trujillo was trapped inside a collapsed building when he was 11. His entrapment occurred during the earthquake of 1972 and 70,000 people were killed. He survived in the "triangle of life" that existed next to his brother's motorcycle. His friends who got under the bed and under desks were crushed to death. He claimed proudly that he is the living example of the "triangle of life" and his dead friends are the example of "duck and cover".

TIPS DOUG COPP PROVIDES:

Everyone who simply "ducks and covers" when buildings collapse is crushed to death -- every time, without exception. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, are always crushed.
Cats, dogs and babies all naturally often curl up in the fetal position. You should too in an earthquake. It is a natural safety/survival instinct. You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa, next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a void next to it.
Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during an earthquake. The reason is simple: the wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake. If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created. Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brick buildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause many injuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.
If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply roll off the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve a much greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on the back of the door of every room, telling occupants to lie down on the floor, next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.
If an earthquake happens while you are watching television and you cannot easily escape by getting out the door or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to a sofa, or large chair.
Everybody who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse is killed. How? If you stand under a doorway and the door jam falls forward or backward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam falls sideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you will be killed!
Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different "moment of frequency" (they swing separately from the main part of the building).The stairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each other until structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get on stairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads. They are horribly mutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from the stairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged.Even if the stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse later when overloaded by screaming, fleeing people. They should always be checked for safety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.
Get near the outer walls of buildings or outside of them if possible it is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than the interior. The further inside you are from the outside perimeter of the building the greater the probability that your escape route will be blocked.
People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls in an earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happened with the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway. The victims of the San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They were all killed. Everyone killed would have survived if they had been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All the crushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars that had columns fall directly across them.
newspaper offices and offices with a lot of paper are fairly safe. Paper does not compact. Large voids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

I hope this useful information is never needed.....

Can’t win this game

2005-03-11T23:43:00.000+08:00

I find this hilarious.
It is say that in the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men, that is : Makes the women happy!

Here are the rule of this LOVEEE game:
1. Do something she likes and you will score.
2. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
3. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
(Sorry, that's the way the game is played.)

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
It's a sports bar (-2)
It's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar and it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Dead Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION - She asks "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-50)
You reply, "Where?" (-45)
Any other response (-40)
[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT plus you are dead]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

The way I look at it: OUCH...PAINFUL!!

I am a Pieces

2004-11-22T15:49:00.000+08:00

Born between February 22nd and March 21st.

Physical Appearance
Generally, Piscean women are seen to be not very tall and plump.
The eyes are quite big and protruding. Hands and feet are either strikingly beautiful or else out proportioned, big and bulky. The shoulders are muscular and spherical.

Mental Attitude
You are philosophical, restless and honest. You can go beyond your means to help people in need.
Not perturbed easily, you can help even your opponents calm down by your gentle behavior. Your nature is to forgive and forget.

General Nature
Your mind is not very steady. It often wanders from spiritualism to materialism. This reduces your concentration thereby making it difficult to achieve your full potential. A Piscean woman may also lack in self confidence. However that does not deter her from being an expert planner.
You will aim very high and can develop right connections to achieve your aims. Generally, Pisceans develop good connections that they encash at the right time.
You are either at the top of the ladder or else at the bottom of it. Pisceans being too ambitious either rise to very high positions or else turn into dreamers and are unable to fight the battle of life. You will have a strong wish to go to foreign lands and visit beautiful places.
Health
You may be drawn towards excesses that means you may be eating and drinking in excess, making you ill. You may suffer from varicose veins or guinea worms.
Problems connected with lever, ankles and feet are possible. You should take care of them.

Money
Generous by nature and ever helping your friends, you are unable to save much. Though due to your mental capacity, which is far in excess of women of other signs, you have a high income level. You will not like to depend on anyone for finances and you are wiling to do even extra work to keep your self financially secure.

Romance And Sex Life
Very romantic by nature, you dream of romance. However you may feel somewhat frustrated as the dreams seldom come true in actual life.
You are very suspicious, you will keep a tab on your lover and if you see him friendly with another woman you feel the pinch.
You are loyal and once you form a relationship, you continue it for a long time though sometimes you may feel a sudden loss of interest in your partner. Many a time, Piscean women can carry two or more relationships simultaneously.
Having a basically shy nature, you are not the one who will make a move yourself in love life. You will expect your lover to make all the moves and you will only react to them.
But, sometimes you can act completely differently. With deception, you can easily control your men with your superior brain and use them for your purposes.
Any foreplay involving water will turn you on, feet are your hot spots.

Marriage
You will dream of marrying a Mr. Perfect and you will want him to have all the qualities possible in a husband. But you will not be working hard to get him. Thus, chances of delay in marriage or a marriage which will not work are not ruled out. You will require a very diplomatic and well mannered husband to stay on.
A Piscean woman keeps good upkeep of her house. Being yourself fond of food and drinks you will stock them well for guests also.
For a stable married love life, you should check your dreamy nature and live in practical world.

Ideal Match
Virgo and Cancer males are the best mates for a Piscean woman.

Caution
Having very high desires, dreams and a changeable nature are your worst problems. You should live in the practical world and be less utopian if you want to be successful.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours
Thursdays, Tuesdays and Sundays are lucky for you.
1, 3, 4, 9 are your lucky numbers.
Red, Orange and Yellow are fortunate.

Recommended Gemstones
Yellow, Sapphire, Pearl and Emerald are the lucky Gemstones for you. The Gem should be of a vibrant Aura and should have never been worn before. The weight of the Gemstone shall be decided as per your age and body weight.

Cocoon

2004-09-15T23:24:00.000+08:00

Twain & I named our house Cocoon.

I told June about it and she went oh you guys must be so so in love and you guys must be making babies. I laughed out loud because I can’t believe this name will actually give such an impression to anyone.

For us, it is just a beautiful word and a great symbol. Cocoon is a symbolic of life and place. It is so magical when a caterpillar turns into a gorgeous butterfly and fly out of its cocoon. It symbolized a place of love, warmth and growth, a place to hide from all worries and a place to incubate for a better future.

I hope one day, there are actually loads of beautiful butterflies fly out from this Cocoon of ours.

Women Power

2004-08-18T04:58:00.000+08:00

"Women are cuter animals but with bird brains", so said all the grumpy husbands. But when women have normal brains, men are in trouble.

Conversation (1)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Conversation (2)
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words each woman uses a day : ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything because men are absent minded and not so intelligent. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Conversation (3)
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Conversation (4)
Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me."
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"

Conversation (5)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should brew coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, and indeed it says...."HEBREWS

Hatred

2004-05-04T15:08:00.000+08:00

A good lesson learned:

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags.

After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?"
The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for imagine your lifetime???

"Forgiving others is the best attitude to take!

Yes, I do

2004-04-19T22:40:00.000+08:00

I believe getting married to a guy we love, or we believe we love is every women’s dream.

When Twain proposed with a ring out of a sudden on his birthday and also on the same day I came back from Shanghai, giving me reason like he wants to keep me forever and he thinks that he is ready to take care of me forever, I was shock and it only took me within second to say I Do because if it’s not with him, I can’t think of a better person I want to spent the rest of my life with.

On my wedding day, the moment he took my hand, I know for sure I married this man not because I had to, but because I chose to be with this man and our love is a promise I want to keep forever……

To have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse,
for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part…

Forever and ever

2004-04-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

This is the perfume I was wearing on my wedding day...