Can’t win this game

I find this hilarious.
It is say that in the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men, that is : Makes the women happy!

Here are the rule of this LOVEEE game:
1. Do something she likes and you will score.
2. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
3. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
(Sorry, that's the way the game is played.)

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
It's a sports bar (-2)
It's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar and it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Dead Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION - She asks "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-50)
You reply, "Where?" (-45)
Any other response (-40)
[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT plus you are dead]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

The way I look at it: OUCH...PAINFUL!!