Words Women Use

A friend of mine sent me this and I was laughing my lungs out reading it not only because visualizing these words being used is entertaining but also because it is so true!
I am giving my personal salute to the person who record every single detail of these "coding".
Here's to help the men out there from getting into a lot of shit by learning and understanding the women's coding and therefore avoid the disasters from hitting.

"Fine"
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
"Five minutes"
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. "Five minutes" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

"Nothing"
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

"Go ahead"
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing".

"That's okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

"Whatever"
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ you!

The way kids see love…

I specially loveee this article, it's on The way kids see Love…, it's awesome!
You will be so surprise what they see in Love compared to us and that they have definitely help us look at Love from a totally different angle.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over andpaint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time,even when his hands got arthritis too.
That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your Frenchfries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate" Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Success is a state of mind

Saw this on the web as I was browsing through and thought it wasn’t that hard to be successful was it?

I do agree with the author that “When you understand success as a state of mind, not just an outcome, any moment can be a victory.
But it is not as easy as it may seem to be because I can’t give a firm ‘yes’ to any item from the author’s list below:

1. Staying focused (I just can’t… I’m easily distracted)
   
   Being optimistic, no matter what (Will try harder)
   
2. Raising confident kids (Will try to have a family planning first)
   
3. Earning more than you ever dreamed (ya right!)
   
4. Hanging in, regardless (I wanted to, but…)
   
5. Passing on what you know (I wish I know more things to pass on)
   
6. Running for office (Huh? You kidding?)
   
7. Finding work you love (Be realistic la, Im not an artist...)
   
8. Telling the truth, always (This I do)
   
9. Paying off debts (In the process)
   
10. Finding the good in being fired (Will try when it happens)
    
11. Winning a tough case (never encounter yet)
    
12. Celebrating a milestone birthday (That’s my 100 yrs old grandma)
    
13. Exceeding your parents' expectations (I don’t even dare to ask what is their expectation on me)
    
14. Building a house with a Habitat for Humanity team (Is there a manual for this?)
    
15. Bouncing back after a failure (Still learning how to)
    
16. Delivering a healthy baby (Can’t say yet)
    
17. Mastering the impossible eg. Mt. Everest (Just kill me)
    
18. Losing the last ten pounds (After maternity…)
    
19. Meditating every morning (I’m not going to the war am I?)
    
20. Accepting your looks hair and all (Accept that I’m ugly but adorable)
    
21. Learning to forgive your worst enemy (I will read more of the Bible for a start)

Conclusion is: I am such a loser!

Definition of Love

A close friend shared this article with me.
She said she is not an expert in love, nor guarantee her choice at this stage in life is the right path but one thing she knows is that sometimes 'love' can be very realistic, very common, very monotonous, not always romance and fireworks which I think it’s so true.

Captain Corelli's Mandolin
by Louis de Bernieres

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just "being in love", which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.

Can’t win this game

I find this hilarious.
It is say that in the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men, that is : Makes the women happy!

Here are the rule of this LOVEEE game:
1. Do something she likes and you will score.
2. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
3. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
(Sorry, that's the way the game is played.)

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
In the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
It's a sports bar (-2)
It's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar and it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Dead Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION - She asks "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-50)
You reply, "Where?" (-45)
Any other response (-40)
[Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT plus you are dead]

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

The way I look at it: OUCH...PAINFUL!!

Women Power

"Women are cuter animals but with bird brains", so said all the grumpy husbands. But when women have normal brains, men are in trouble.

Conversation (1)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Conversation (2)
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words each woman uses a day : ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything because men are absent minded and not so intelligent. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Conversation (3)
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Conversation (4)
Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me."
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"

Conversation (5)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should brew coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, and indeed it says...."HEBREWS

Hatred

A good lesson learned:

A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes. The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes. Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags.

After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?"
The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart. The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for imagine your lifetime???

"Forgiving others is the best attitude to take!