My 2007 revolutions

I just realized during lunch today that almost all my colleagues give their parents some money on a monthly basis. Me? Never.

Think of it, I felt so bad and guilty. My parents had taken such a good care of me and had also given me every single possible things I need on earth but other than CNY ang pow, I have neither given them anything nor had i ever buy them a trip to anywhere. My heart sink as I think. I am at the stage where I should have a lum sum of saving and are financial stable and are at least credit card debt free but I am so NOT! The least I can do is at least get them a yearly medical insurance cover right?

I feel so ashame for not being able to do just that. How do they feel each time when they hear neighbors or friends bragging about where their kids take them and how much they got from their kids each month? Do they feel sad and tears in private? Or do they feel totally alright about it?

I know money is not everything, and I know both of you would prefer and will be happier if we are well and spend more time with you but I still feel that to be able to give even a little is the least responsibility I should do. Without you, I won't be where I am today and please do not doubt my love for both of you. I know, you know I love you.

I have put this as first priority in my to-do-list and it is definitely my No.1 2007 revolution!

My handbook

I shall be following this handbook for all these years to come:-

As a person
sincere
honest
understanding
be able to help
fun & loving
humorous

Personal well-being
stay young and beautiful always (at heart at least)
face mask twice a week
facial & massage once a month
to pick up: yoga, dancing, singing
healthy diet & drink lots of H2o
be financially stable (clear all credit cards outstanding in 2 yrs)
travel to see the world at least once a year

Career
home
a reasonable, understanding & supportive wife
a fun & loving mother
to raise wonderful, independent & courages children

work
continue working
looking for opportunities to do my own thing

Life goal
giving back - in whichever biz that I will be successfully doing, looking at getting involves and helping some charity organizations

My belief
We should enjoy life even though we have not made it. Everyone should enjoy and celebrate life at any stage and with what we have, with no excuse. At the end of the day, success is not the most important thing, the process is.
Life is a continuous succession of present moment, so live happily in the present moment.

Have faith no matter what

All ending are good; if it is not good, it's not the end.

My own conclusion
Most human problems are mostly mentally.
When the mind set is right, things will be in the right place.
That's why people say if you are mentally strong, you can do anything you want.
I'm not mentally strong, but I will try.
In fact I have just started my journey towards where I want to be.

My eating habit sucks

I just got back from lunch and there is only one thing I can tell you…I'm bloody FULL!!
I feel like I am so full that I'm having difficulties to breath..oh God…why did I do this to myself?

I feel like I'm always eating even though I don't feel hungry. I eat mainly to fulfill my own desire for food and I'm always craving for many kinds of food ranging from pastry to curry.
I have put on 3 kgs ever since I started working and seeing that layer of tummy falling out it's yucky.

I had horrible breakfast (coz cafeteria food suck but why do I still eat?). I sometimes have lunch that I asked myself why I even bother eating coz I'm still full from breakfast, then I munch at my cubicle so that I could stay awake. And I usually have heavy dinner with Twain (coz dinner is usually - Chu Char rice and dishes). After that I will just let myself lie dead in front of the TV watching series after series, many times I dozed off. Twain always tell me that this couch potato at home is growing bigger and bigger.

My eating habits Sucks!!

Hormones

I think my bad hormone is here again. I think they have successfully conquered and taken over me entirely again this month. In fact, they have never failed to do so. Yup, it should be around now. What can I say, but giving in to them. I feel weak and numb. I can’t fight back. I just can’t. I wanted to but my mind won’t let me. I just let the bad hormones control me for as far as they want to and Twain is always the first one to feel them coming.

When my bad hormone is around, everything is a bad thing, everything. Days are grey. Everything gets on to my nerve. I hate to think, don’t throw me any questions. Don’t ask me to do anything during this time too because I refuse to move. All men are my enemies. I specially hate Twain’s guts. He annoys me 16 hours of the day, the hours that I don’t get irritated by him is when we are asleep. “Don’t say a word. Don’t open your mouth! Leave me ALONE!!” These are my favorite lines.

Twain told me once when I’m with my good hormones, I am such a nice sweet person he wanted to be with forever but not when my bad hormones are around. He is afraid that he can’t take it for long. I was mad and feeling guilty at the same time hearing that. But it’s only a few days I thought and I’m back to my normal self…Is it so horrible? What do you want me to do? I’m a victim too you know? I was being attacked without even realizing it.

Some days, it is all hatred, some days, it is totally emotional. I wanted to cry about anything, if can everything. Everything makes me feel so down. Everything is so hopeless and all I want to do is blast into tears and cry out loud. Some day, I just want to be a bitch. I sit around and bitch and moan about everything.

Gosh…I hate this!! Even chocolate can’t help me now. Evening Primrose obviously didn’t help either.
Waarr…...Where are all my good hormones during this time? Why do they leave me just like that? If I keep letting the bad hormone taking over me, I think Twain will be leaving me next.
Honey, just want you to know that I didn’t mean it to take it out on you and please don’t love me less because of this. I’m only a little monster about 60 days out of 365 days.

My hobby?

I was on this boat trip with a group of divers. They dived, they jumped into the middle of the rough sea from the deck for fun when the boat is not moving (these 2, you can just kill me and I wouldn’t do) they talked about how they dive, the gears, the underwater world and etc. I’m the only alien on the boat. I don’t dive plus I sure will not risk my life and jump into the open sea in the middle of no where. I did ask myself why was I there? Mostly, it’s because I wanted to see what Twain does on his dive trip, what is a dive trip like and partly also I don’t want to be apart from him for 1 whole week.

One evening when I was watching the sunset on the deck holding a Reader Digest in my hand (not that I can read when the water is so rough), a girl came by and asked me: you don’t dive, so what is your hobby? Gosh…leave me alone, I hate this question. Why does she need to ask me anything about hobby? About activities we do in our own time? I know…I know…I’m neither a sophisticated diver nor a golfer. I don’t jog and I don’t hike. I don’t do a lot of things ok.

Should I just tell her the truth about my hobby? That my hobby is shopping, yoga, Pilates and social dancing (it’s just that I haven’t started all that), reading (see, I’m holding a book now), watching TV, cooking and baking (it’s just that I seldom cook and bake), and listening to music. Can activities that we seldom or never do be listed as our hobby?

I don’t like sports, water sports, I hate all cardio activities, and if I so call like doing yoga, Pilates and social dancing how come I’m not doing any of that yet? Is there any one else out there without a proper hobby or is it just me?

I’m just a lazy lazy person full of crap. All I do is sit or laze around, watch TV, then watch TV again, and again…oh my God! I basically do nothing but sit, lazing around and watch TV?! Should I tell her now that this is my hobby? But why can my lips move? Am I being ashamed of telling anyone about my hobby? I think I absolutely am. Even if this is a real hobby, it is so unhealthy. Other then exhausting my eyes more, I don’t even need to move any other of my body parts except my thumb. What a lazy arse I am! I hate myself.

Oh, my hobby? I read, I go shopping, and suddenly gardening came to my mind so I added that (but the only thing is that I didn’t tell her what is in my garden is mostly water plant which again you don’t need to do much). She must be thinking what an airheaded fool I’m. Why even bother.
Thinking to myself after that, is having tea and chit-chat with a group of friends considering hobby? If yes, then I will have 1 more hobby to make my hobby list a total of 4.

I am a Pieces

Born between February 22nd and March 21st.

Physical Appearance
Generally, Piscean women are seen to be not very tall and plump.
The eyes are quite big and protruding. Hands and feet are either strikingly beautiful or else out proportioned, big and bulky. The shoulders are muscular and spherical.

Mental Attitude
You are philosophical, restless and honest. You can go beyond your means to help people in need.
Not perturbed easily, you can help even your opponents calm down by your gentle behavior. Your nature is to forgive and forget.

General Nature
Your mind is not very steady. It often wanders from spiritualism to materialism. This reduces your concentration thereby making it difficult to achieve your full potential. A Piscean woman may also lack in self confidence. However that does not deter her from being an expert planner.
You will aim very high and can develop right connections to achieve your aims. Generally, Pisceans develop good connections that they encash at the right time.
You are either at the top of the ladder or else at the bottom of it. Pisceans being too ambitious either rise to very high positions or else turn into dreamers and are unable to fight the battle of life. You will have a strong wish to go to foreign lands and visit beautiful places.
Health
You may be drawn towards excesses that means you may be eating and drinking in excess, making you ill. You may suffer from varicose veins or guinea worms.
Problems connected with lever, ankles and feet are possible. You should take care of them.

Money
Generous by nature and ever helping your friends, you are unable to save much. Though due to your mental capacity, which is far in excess of women of other signs, you have a high income level. You will not like to depend on anyone for finances and you are wiling to do even extra work to keep your self financially secure.

Romance And Sex Life
Very romantic by nature, you dream of romance. However you may feel somewhat frustrated as the dreams seldom come true in actual life.
You are very suspicious, you will keep a tab on your lover and if you see him friendly with another woman you feel the pinch.
You are loyal and once you form a relationship, you continue it for a long time though sometimes you may feel a sudden loss of interest in your partner. Many a time, Piscean women can carry two or more relationships simultaneously.
Having a basically shy nature, you are not the one who will make a move yourself in love life. You will expect your lover to make all the moves and you will only react to them.
But, sometimes you can act completely differently. With deception, you can easily control your men with your superior brain and use them for your purposes.
Any foreplay involving water will turn you on, feet are your hot spots.

Marriage
You will dream of marrying a Mr. Perfect and you will want him to have all the qualities possible in a husband. But you will not be working hard to get him. Thus, chances of delay in marriage or a marriage which will not work are not ruled out. You will require a very diplomatic and well mannered husband to stay on.
A Piscean woman keeps good upkeep of her house. Being yourself fond of food and drinks you will stock them well for guests also.
For a stable married love life, you should check your dreamy nature and live in practical world.

Ideal Match
Virgo and Cancer males are the best mates for a Piscean woman.

Caution
Having very high desires, dreams and a changeable nature are your worst problems. You should live in the practical world and be less utopian if you want to be successful.

Lucky Days, Numbers And Colours
Thursdays, Tuesdays and Sundays are lucky for you.
1, 3, 4, 9 are your lucky numbers.
Red, Orange and Yellow are fortunate.

Recommended Gemstones
Yellow, Sapphire, Pearl and Emerald are the lucky Gemstones for you. The Gem should be of a vibrant Aura and should have never been worn before. The weight of the Gemstone shall be decided as per your age and body weight.

Forever and ever

This is the perfume I was wearing on my wedding day...