A total Stranger

A very dear friend of mine is going thru a break up. She told me she was not in a very good shape but is getting better when we met up. Then she felt awful again when she found out that the EX said something hurtful and stupid and played ignorance. That hurt like hell.

It’s like the man that you love and trust so much, you planned to spend the rest of your life with, you thought you have know him inside out has suddenly become a total stranger to you? How could that happened? Ya, how could that be? It hurt even more if this happened for no reason, just like that. I still don’t get it, the person that you feel most connected to is now not related to you at all. Not even one bit. And he or she shall be a nobody if not a total stranger when we bump into them.

Unless the person you were with was a complete arsehole, if not I totally understand how going thru this worse patch of life can be. It is shitty. You feel helpless and vulnerable. And we tend to keep thinking back and finding more reasons telling ourselves that we should be together, that we were the perfect couple. The thought that we will no longer have that specific person in our life anymore terrify us. It’s like no more hands, you are all alone. It means no one will be there to listen to our craps, our complaints, to be there to watch TV with, no one to share our dinner with, to laze around with and to give us a hug and a peck when we are tired and need comforting and worse no one to have a wet kiss or to make love to. It is everything. Our world is empty now. It almost collapsed. It has turned cold and grey, just like winter.

I don’t know what to tell her. I am not good at this. I don’t know what the right words are or are there actually any words for this at all? The way I see it, no one can help her except herself. She needs to put that entire burden she got behind and I believe now is still too fast for that. Oh but I did tell her if she feels sad, don’t deny it. Just go with the flow until she feels numb then her body will have the antibody for it eventually. I know what I said was cold, told you I don’t know what to say. But she will be alright and I hope she get over it not because she has to or it is a race to see who got over it first but simply because she finally realize that she is a special person and she definitely deserve someone better.

He can’t wait no more…

As Twain and I lied on the bed preparing to go to sleep, he turned and asked me a very heart melting question. ”Do you know what I can’t wait to do now?”
I shook my head and he said that is to go shop for a baby cot, baby clothing, baby stuffs and start doing up a baby room.
My smile broke into a big laugh because it’s funny (not that I’m pregnant yet) but I am happy to know that he really can’t wait to be a father, can he? And my heart melted because I can feel his love for his child at the same time. And I know he is dead serious about being a father.

Out of the sudden, my macho Twain has showed the soften side of him and I love that …muah..haha…

My eating habit sucks

I just got back from lunch and there is only one thing I can tell you…I'm bloody FULL!!
I feel like I am so full that I'm having difficulties to breath..oh God…why did I do this to myself?

I feel like I'm always eating even though I don't feel hungry. I eat mainly to fulfill my own desire for food and I'm always craving for many kinds of food ranging from pastry to curry.
I have put on 3 kgs ever since I started working and seeing that layer of tummy falling out it's yucky.

I had horrible breakfast (coz cafeteria food suck but why do I still eat?). I sometimes have lunch that I asked myself why I even bother eating coz I'm still full from breakfast, then I munch at my cubicle so that I could stay awake. And I usually have heavy dinner with Twain (coz dinner is usually - Chu Char rice and dishes). After that I will just let myself lie dead in front of the TV watching series after series, many times I dozed off. Twain always tell me that this couch potato at home is growing bigger and bigger.

My eating habits Sucks!!

Sudden death

We were informed that my colleague will be on leave for the whole week. She has just lost her younger brother during the weekend. Her brother was only in his early 20’s. He was on vacation in Redang when this happened and the caused of it is said to be sudden death. I feel shock and sorry and at the same time wondering how things can happen just like that without any hint. We were still talking and laughing on Fri afternoon not smelling that something is going to happen to his brother. I can never and will never be able to accept it if this were to happen to me. I mean who can? Even thinking of it is equally painful. What am I going to do if this were to happen to me? How am I going to get through and get over it losing someone we love so much and grew up with? I will collapse and breakdown.

But then again, maybe God has called upon him for a certain reason and if this is why he has to leave his beloved family and everything on earth behind, I hope my colleague and her family will eventually know that God has had a bigger mission for him and that they should too Believe and rest everything in HIS hand. The truth is we never really may have or own anyone in this world. What we have is the memory of all the wonderful moment we had with them.

Therapy

I woke up at noon, sleep as much as I can to take advantage of a non-working day. I then ate the last poh-piah (spring-roll). Yeah, and that will marked the 4th day I ate the same stuff in a stretch. Hmm…it is still yummy surprisingly. I might start buying and eating this again by next week.
I planned to have laksa in the afternoon and western food from Mutiara Selera at night for tomorrow. I’m already craving for the food now as I am typing now.

I met up with the gals and we had dinner at Salsa. It was so nice to see everyone again. I don’t know. I always feel like I have not seen them for a long time every time I met them. After a while, our voice and laughter had filled up the whole restaurant and we normally get louder and louder as the topics get juicier. We usually discussed and talked about the tiniest issue to some serious personal problems we are facing with the husband, in-laws, family and from work. We listened, consoled and condemned.

I always feel that the time we get together is like a therapy to me. We can just say what we want to each other, anything. Things we feel uncomfortable saying to our co-worker, our siblings and etc we normally pour among us each time we met. It feels so relief after that; it is like putting behind your entire burden. Our brain is usually fully on rest mode because what we do is usually talk non-stop for the next few hours. The fact is we have known all of us since we were in high school and we have become sisters ever since and by the rate we are going it looks like we need each other for a really long time.

Min once said it is sad that people our age do not have clean fun like what we used to have in school anymore. Last night however just reminded me that that was what we have always been doing all this while, talking crap, gossiping, giggling and laughing solely at some words and things around us. One good example to prove it, we can talk without a topic or talk about the same topic for the whole night, you pick. Our men still have not found a way to cope with us when we are all together because it is too chaotic, but I think they should be used to it by now.

I am always grateful to have all of you as friends.
(June was not with us last night but she is of course included, Sue, Min, Dee, Cal and many more, we might not always see each other, but I’ve always think of you guys.)

Happy Sunday

I had a wonderful Sunday today.
I managed to do everything I wish to do. I managed to take a nap in the afternoon (haven’t done that for ages), eat my favorite laksa, watch my favorite series, drag Twain to go shopping with me and had western food for dinner. I felt content having to do everything I want in one day. And it is simple day like this that makes me happy.

Poh Piah (Spring-roll)

I have been craving for Poh-Piah crazily these few days. Tonight is the 3rd night I’m having Poh-Piah for dinner and it is still yummy. And for your information, I still have one roll for spare just in case I still crave for it after tonight. I feel safer keeping an extra one for spare. I’m always paranoid with things like this.

This poh-piah I carved is not any poh-piah. It has to be the one from Bee Hooi Pulau Tikus. The uncle and his son looked happy to see me three days in a roll. I think they feel honored. Who wouldn’t? I would. It only proved that either they really make good poh-piah or I’m nuts.

Try it, you can taste all the listed below in one bite and I can ensure you that it is all you need when you needed a light meal or when you are sick of all the other stuff:
Steam mix veggie (mangkuang, long-beans, carrot)
- Omelet cut into small pieces
- Shrimps
- Deep fried onion
- Chinese pancake skin (make of flour and egg)